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Community Corner

Dealing with Drinking and Driving

Join members of the Marietta Patch Mom Council as they start a discussion about teaching your children about drinking and driving.

Each week in Moms Talk, our Moms Council of experts and smart moms take your questions, give advice and share solutions.

Moms, dads, grandparents and the diverse families who make up our community will have a new resource for questions about local neighborhood schools, the best pediatricians, 24-hour pharmacies and the thousands of other issues that arise while raising children.

Moms Talk will also be the place to drop in for a talk about the latest parenting hot topic. So grab a cup of coffee and settle in as we start the conversation today with a couple of questions: What do you tell your child to do if the driver he/she is out with has been drinking? Do you have a contract with your teen children to provide them rides if they need them, no questions asked?

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Jan Katz-Kellogg: I think a parent can do many things to lessen the odds of this happening:

First, I want my child to love and respect himself  as an individual. One of his biggest challenges in life is peer pressure and it’s less potent when he feels good about himself and his choices.

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Second, get to know the parents of the kids your child hangs out with. Make sure their values and philosophies are the same as yours. Peer pressure (again) is huge, and you want to make sure what you are teaching as “cool” is the same for your child’s peer group. If drinking is “uncool” with your child’s group, chances are you won’t have to worry about it.

Third, make sure you’re your child sees all those horrific films showing the consequences of teen drunk driving.

If by some chance this does happen, your child should feel comfortable calling you to bail them out. Hopefully you have explained to them that the driver’s choices will not reflect badly on him/her and that you are proud of him/her for making a good, safe decision. This will an awkward, scary situation for the child and every effort should be made to get him out of it quickly and quietly. In fact, a call like that from your child can be an opportunity for rewarding your child’s choices in some way. Acknowledging good choices now will encourage good choices later.

Kim Koch: I bought on old Chevy back a decade or so ago. In it was a 1960s Georgia drivers manual. One of the questions for the pre-test went something like this:

“You went by Paul’s Bar on the way in from work. You had a few too many and your wife calls to say dinner is cold in the oven and she is not happy. How do you get home?” There were four answers to choose from. The correct answer for passing the driver’s test then was: “Take the back roads home.”

Things have evolved since then. Zero tolerance is taught to our children from the time they are in a diapers. I myself was one of the 1980s youth that was placed in the 21-and-up age group for drinking. Most of my friends were 5 months older and already doing Tuesday drink-or-drowns at the local club. I drove many a friend home safely after a call for help.

I am also an adult child of alcoholics. I lost my Mom to the disease when she was 53. My Dad has been sober and cigarette free for the last six years after a severe stroke and a stent in the brain(trial study), and fish tube in the groin area(fem fem cross over bypass). I started driving way before it was legal. It kept my family much safer.

Alcohol is legal, unless you are a minor, but drinking and driving has killed many good people. Alcoholism is a disease. Some hospitals even term it a character flaw. It happens in all walks of life.

I have been very open with my son about obeying the law and how when you get into your teen years, your parents are a reflection on you, but you are accountable for your own actions. I also let him know that the disease runs in our family, and he himself could easily develop an issue with drinking. The cost of choosing to drive or ride with someone under the influence hardly outweighs a few moments you might spend talking with an adult about why you shouldn't.

We continue to have an open dialogue on the subject. I make sure when we bring it up that he and myself are both in a good place to speak on the subject. I have always told him if he is in a situation and needs a way out when dealing with drugs are alcohol with his friends, call me no matter what time of day or night, and I will be there.

It was recently brought to my attention that SADD has now evolved into Students Against Destructive Decisions. There is a whole group of youth in the Atlanta area that have tattoos that read "Sober," because this is the life that they choose.

Make sure to take time and speak with your young adult, make sure you know who their close friends are. Let them know you trust AND care about them. If you feel the addiction is a problem within themselves,  please direct them toward positive help. Even if you are the one with the addiction, either guide them to a group program, or hope a friend or family member does.

Some other resources: Al-Anon, Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Codepedents Anonymous.

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