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Community Corner

Moms Talk About the Dangers of Sports

Join members of the Marietta Patch Moms Council as they start a discussion about responding to children who want to conform or refuse to conform.

Each week in Moms Talk, our Moms Council of experts and smart moms takes your questions, gives advice and shares solutions. So grab a cup of coffee and settle in as we start the conversation today with this question:

Are school sports more dangerous than they use to be? It seems like there is always some new tragedy with sports and teens on the news.

Jan Katz-Kellogg: I feel a little awkward trying to have an intelligent discussion about sports, particularly football. I have somehow managed to go to football games all my life without truly knowing what is going on, except when a touchdown is made. That one is obvious. At that point, I just need to make sure I am cheering for the right team.

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I use to hate football season; I just didn’t get it. I actually broke up with a boyfriend for trying to surprise me with Super Bowl tickets. Years later, with a little more maturity and more respect for the game, I did regret the incident. Ironic, isn’t it, that I would bear a son who lives and breathes football (baseball too) and that our daily lives are centered around it.

In needing to know just exactly where my son was on that field at any given time, I have actually learned quite a bit about the game. I have always appreciated the life skills the game and his coaches have instilled in him: self discipline, endurance and the understanding that being the best is no easy road.

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As a parent, I cringe every time I see a bunch of really big guys running toward him, wanting to knock him down. He always came up from those tackles unscathed, and I had almost gotten comfortable watching him play—until a few weeks ago. After a particularly brutal tackle, he failed to get back up. That day happened to be the same day two other high school athletes died on the field.

My son had no feeling in his legs. After being rushed to the emergency room, it was explained that muscles go into a self-protect mode when hit. The technical explanation is more complicated, but the end result can be renal failure. His kidneys had begun to shut down.

After a week of lab tests and therapy, he was itching to go and was cleared by the doctor. This is a kid who is 15 years old and a starter for the Varsity team—a very big deal for him. With trepidation, I watched him go back out on the field. You can’t imagine what I felt like when another big tackle came his way within the first 10 minutes of the game—and he didn’t get back up again. This time he broke his leg. And I am angry.

I’m sure some would disagree with me, but I feel like there’s a lot of “dirty” football being played out there. Because my boy was known for making a touchdown within the first 10 minutes of half the games he played last year, I’m sure he was a target. Injure him early. It worked. He is out for the season.

High school football has become pretty sophisticated, and I am not sure I like how it’s changed. Gone are the days when star athletes are only famous within their own school districts. It’s a serious business now where scouts routinely observe games looking for potential talent, where kids move to other districts for the sole reason of getting more publicity and attention and where part of their training is to know the talents of their competitors through film clips and stats. “Win at all costs” seems to be the mantra, and that is the part I have a problem with.

My child works out six days a week, has a rock hard muscular body, pushes 360 pound and has never a had a serious injury, ever. I can’t help but think that with these last two very serious injuries something different has been incorporated into the game. I just can’t make myself chalk this up to “boys will be boys.” It seems like a “fair fight” isn’t even a priority.

While my son is pretty devastated to be out for this long anticipated season, part of me is relieved not to have to worry about his safety. I am sure there are others who feel differently and that I am expressing “sour grapes.” That’s fine by me. This football player is my son, and I am going to at least question these practices out loud.

To be fair, high school sports teams have begun to incorporate more safety policies into their programs. One such policy is mandatory water breaks to keep players hydrated. Unfortunately, this change came about after a kid was denied water and died on the field at football practice.

The $360 helmet helmets prevent head injuries. However, you can’t put your child in bubble wrap before a game, and at some point there needs to be more penalties for playing “dirty” ball.

It has become too common to see sudden deaths of high school football players on TV. It is just a game after all and certainly not worth risking a life for. While, admittedly, I am no expert on football, I am a parent who wants to see her child grow up, go to college, get married and have a family of his own one day. I want football’s place in our life to be a time of fond memories, not the sport that wiped it out.

Kim Koch: I received an email from fellow Mom Talk writer Jan and was floored when she described what was going on in her family’s life and her quick perspective of how it all came about. This week’s question really comes from inside of her, what a difficult couple of weeks she and her son have been through. I send my most heartfelt wishes of healing to them.

I was an athlete for many decades. I am one of the rare birds, given my age, that grew up on the soccer fields. For most people in this area, that was unheard of. I also played softball and ran long distances through most of my youth and into my adult years.

My father played in the national league for 11 years, and he was not only my father but my coach as well. His European flair and love of the sport still shine through in all three of his children.

I remember being on the field at an elementary age and getting frustrated due to someone taking cheap shots at me or playing sloppy. My father’s voice still rings in my ears, “Play the ball, not the man, Kimmy!”

My younger brother learned to use drama through middle school and high school coaching. He could create scenes worthy of an academy award. He made it look like a player from the other team had done a horrific act to give his team, no matter the sport, an advantage when the coaches or he felt like it was needed.

Through the lack of structured coaching and many drill videos, the girls were left to play their own style of soccer, which was a mix of talented speed and aggressive nature. Human nature in itself taught them to play the player and not the ball to win.

I coached U-14 boy’s soccer out of a local park for many years. Every season started with an “Approved Parental Yell’s List.” At first, I got a laugh out of it; after the first season, it became my new bible. I worked with parents to keep things positive and taught the boys endurance by making them run both distance and short sprints every practice. I also implemented ball touch and control drills, which always led to small structured mini games to end practice.

Stretching before and after was the most important. It helps to reduce sport injuries, and I instilled this knowledge in my players.

Many of the young men I coached at the recreational level have come to me and thanked me for giving them the focus and skills it took for them to win scholarships. Many also told me they left a team due to aggressive coaching and found teams at even higher levels that instilled the same beliefs and structure.

Coaches and youth players, I know winning is huge, but hurting someone just to win is barbaric and shows a real lack of talent. I understand that risks are involved in playing a sport, but I also know from personal experience that sports are becoming more aggressive. There is a transgression in sportsmanship and how sports are taught and played. Parents, coaches and sports idol’s are all reflected in the choices our youths make on the field of life.

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